Articles

“If things aren’t failing, you’re not innovating enough”

14th May 2024

Every successful individual, be it an entrepreneur, a hedge fund manager, or a sportsperson, understands that failure is an inevitable part of the journey. As Elon Musk articulated in a 2010 New York Times article, "I see failure as an option here. If things aren’t failing, you’re not innovating enough." Bouncing back from these failures, however, requires resilience. Jensen Huang, CEO of Nvidia, echoed this sentiment in a recent address to Stanford students, emphasising that the most crucial element for success is resilience, which is borne from enduring "pain and suffering." He believes this hardship refines character and forges greatness. Huang elaborated, "Unfortunately, resilience matters in success...greatness is not intelligence; greatness comes from character, and character isn’t formed in smart people, it’s formed out of people who have suffered." He then added, somewhat provocatively, "And so if I could wish upon you, for all you Stanford students, I wish upon you ample doses of pain and suffering",  a comment that elicited nervous laughter from the audience.

However, not everyone is able to recover from the pain and suffering that failure often brings. Whether it's the frustration of consistently missing a four-foot putt or the disappointment of a rejected venture capital pitch, the scars of failure can lead to rumination, stress, inaction and avoidance. How, then, can one develop the resilience necessary to bounce back and not be paralysed by this "scar tissue"? Jensen Huang's perspective on resilience - that once endured, pain permanently shapes character - may oversimplify the complex, ongoing relationship between failure and personal growth. True resilience encompasses more than just enduring or recovering from setbacks; it involves a continuous cycle of trying, failing, experiencing pain, and persisting. This process highlights that resilience is a dynamic form of mental, emotional, and even physical adaptability (Connor-Davidson, 2003). Cristiano Ronaldo encapsulates this in his personal mantra: "Pain, Uncertainty, and Constant Work." This perspective reveals a deeper understanding of failure - not as an endpoint, but as an integral part of a transformative journey. I describe this process as the "resurrection of failure", which includes acknowledging and accepting failure, reframing it, and overcoming the associated fears. Embracing each failure as both a stepping stone and a catalyst for growth, learning, and eventual success turns these experiences into powerful agents of change.

Central to this transformative journey is self-compassion, a vital quality that transforms the pain of failure from an impediment into a bedrock of resilience. Self-compassion means treating oneself with the same kindness, concern, and understanding during times of failure that one would offer a good friend (Neff, 2003). It fosters a balanced mindset that allows for self-forgiveness - acknowledging our limitations and the natural human propensity to err - thus enabling us to move forward and try again, even if that trying means failing again. Moreover, self-compassion encompasses not only these “nurturing” elements but also “empowering” ones that encourage active engagement with adversity. This component supports a flexible mindset that embraces setbacks as essential to personal and professional growth, fuelling a drive to perform at our peak, even in bleak circumstances. It echoes Elon Musk's philosophy of relentless persistence: "I don’t ever give up. I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated". This perspective isn't rooted merely in ambition; it reflects a deep, self-compassionate conviction that we are deserving of our best efforts, in alignment with our deepest values and beliefs.

Self-compassion represents a profound paradigm shift in how we manage failure and the accompanying pain. Its dual nature as both a shield to guard against the harshness of self-criticism and a catalyst for development, provides a comprehensive toolkit. At its core, self-compassion means being our own most reliable supporter and advocate, especially in the face of adversity. It enables us to actively engage with pain - not to amplify it, but to harness it - challenging the misconception that self-compassion equates to passivity or self-pity. This approach involves a deliberate recognition of pain as an inevitable part of the learning process, allowing us to confront our failures and the associated discomfort with a mindset geared towards growth, rather than avoidance or denial. Moreover, self-compassion balances recognising the pain that comes with failure while also empowering us to rise above it, acknowledging that true strength is often forged in the crucible of discomfort and challenge.

Therefore, self-compassion cultivates a form of resilience that transcends mere recovery, promoting adaptability that enables individuals not just to bounce back but to thrive, innovate and flourish when faced with new challenges, effectively overcoming the  “fear of failure”. In this way, resilience becomes not just about returning to a baseline of functioning but about leveraging every setback as an opportunity for profound personal and professional development.

Though developing resilience often involves enduring pain; pain, in itself, does not foster resilience. Self-compassion is the key to transforming that pain, that suffering, that failure, into resilience. Without it, the experience of failure and suffering could easily lead to despair and stagnation rather than empowerment and advancement.